TV Shows that are Ruining America

I've had  a couple of weeks on my hands, so in between interviewing for jobs and screwing around on the internet, I've flipped through the guide on my TV a time or two. Admittedly, I don't watch much TV other than True Blood, Dexter, and Sons of Anarchy, so perhaps my critical eye isn't what it used to be. (Ok fine. I also watch Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and Most Eligible Dallas. Sue me.) However, I have a pre-tty good moral compass and I feel alright about judging people who voluntarily makes asses of put themselves on national television. I always thought the current presidency would be the downfall of our society, but alas, its actually our weeknight programming. Honestly, what kind of person thinks they can recover, both personally and professionally, from being on a reality show?

1. Teen Mom - It completely disgusts me that getting knocked up as a teenager has been glamorized. I mean, I'm high-fiving myself for making it to 30 without kids and these girls are actually INSPIRING other young girls to get pregnant - just to be on tv?? Seriously!? Mind.Blown. These girls are getting 6-figure paychecks for airing their lack of parental influence and self-esteem on national television? They're also apparently getting std's restraining orders and jail sentences, so I guess its a wash.
2. I Didn't Know I was Pregnant - Scratching my head at this one. You didn't know you had a PERSON in your stomach for nine months until it fell out? The level of stupidity of these women is making my head hurt.
3. Half Ton Mom - I understand that the purpose of the show is to educate viewers on the trials and tribulations of dealing with a morbidly obese person - I get it. Admittedly,  I've never seen this show but it sounds terrible.  Perhaps it serves as a motivational tool to some to get out there and.. oh i don't know.. walk somewhere?
4. Jon and Kate + 8 - First she marries a man with an unhealthy obsession with bedazzled dragon graphic t-shirts and tacky gold jewelry. Then they have 8 kids (side note: you can't recover from that). This is supposed to entertain me? Those children never stood a chance at a normal life.
5. Bachelor/Bachelorette/Bachelor Pad - Lets put a bunch of hot-bodied single drunks in a room, sit back and see what happens. Sounds like Thursday night at the Loon. Minus the "hot-bodied" part.
6. Bridalplasty - This show (and the bachelor) is probably one of the main reasons I'm still single. Bottom line - some people are just stupid. The premise of this show is to go through some stupid wedding-related challenges and "win" surgeries.  I thought the entire purpose behind engagement/marriage is "I love you the way you are." Apparently not. These dudes must be real winners. It is kind of funny to see these idiots walking around with bandages all over their faces, though.
7. Jersey Shore - While I admit that I get a kick out of Snooki and Pauly D, these people are embarrassing for our great country. Which marketing genius thought it would be a good idea to send them overseas and represent Americans in Italy? That person should be forced to share a room for the next 8 months with Vinny and "the Situation" - and sleep in a twin-sized bed, obviously.
8. Toddlers and Tiaras - That little Eden Wood already has a Twitter. At age 6. I just googled her name and "Eden Wood Retiring" came up in my search bar. She's already accomplished so much, hasn't she?
9. Dance Moms - This woman tells children to their faces that they are failures and won't amount to anything. One of the moms was quoted on the show saying "Everyone knows dance is more important than school. My kid has missed plenty of school for dance." Way to go, mother of the year.
10. 18 Kids and Counting - Sweet Jesus. My body hurts at the thought.

I'm ordering every season of Boy Meets World, Full House, Step by Step, and Saved by the Bell for my future children to watch. I mean, how else would I have learned that there is "no hope with dope?"

Thanks Kelly, Zack, and Co.

SM