Reasons why Dallas > NYC

I just got back from a trip to New York to visit a girlfriend for her mini-bachelorette party before the super fancy black-tie wedding this summer in Omaha. (side note: currently seeking date to said black tie wedding. requirements: must look good in tux, killer dance moves, likes to party) We had a good time catching up and drinking too many martinis/eating too much pizza. I met a guy from Dallas in a pizza shop at 3:40am and was awoken by bagpipes 4 hours later. Only in NYC, I suppose. pretty pretty.  Here are my conclusions: People...

Texting Hilarity

"I realize tweeting to you that we will be in town this weekend is probably douchy, so I'm now texting you to let you know I'm aware and please don't blog about me." - he/she who shall remain nameless. xo,...

Sunday Funday

Why do I insist on treating my sabbatical as a debaucherous Saturday? How can I not understand the concept of "taking it easy" or "just one beer?" That being said, SOMEONE has a case of the Mondays. xo,...

Reasons Why I Don't Date

I had a date last night.  Unfortunately for me, this is a true story.   Preface: I've known this guy for a while, as he is a friend of a friend. He's an "actor" here in Dallas, which means he doesn't really act. Quite frankly, I'm not terribly sure what he actually does for a living. He posts his IMDB page on Facebook rather often, though. Does high school theater count as "acting?" I'm convinced some of those "roles" were made up. Anyway, he FB chats and calls me ALL the time. As a matter of fact,...

Things that I hate with the fire of 10,000 suns (part deux)

Well hello there, you darling people, you. All 4 of you. I've been busy with work and drinking and what not, so I haven't been inspired to write anything lately. I have kept a running list in my car of tiny things that annoy the shit out of me, though. But Shannon, haven't you written something similar? Why yes. Yes, I have. You can catch up here. These are all new annoying things.  Here goes... People who don't return their shopping cart to the shopping cart corral - Hey lazy, you just dinged my Ford Taurus (work car - don't...

Latest Greatest Obsession

I've always been a Beatles fan, but lately, I find myself listening to the Paul McCartney Pandora station 24/7. Without further ado, I present the swoon-worthy man of the day, Mr. Jim Sturgess. Le sigh. The British accent. The voice. Date me? If you like the Beatles, check out the movie "Across the Universe." Its trippy, but it really is amazing. Happy weeken...

:(

I attended a pre-party for the Jonathan Tyler and the Northern Lights  concert on New Years Eve at a girlfriend's house. Because I was practicing walking around my apartment in my fabulous new 5-inch champagne-colored glittery stilettos, I was a little late to the soiree and decided to play catch up. While perusing through their liquor cabinet, (aka the freezer) I came across a delicious-looking bottle of double dark chocolate vodka. YES PLEASE. She tells me, "that was a present from Steve," our friend who currently lives in New York...

My New Years Resolution - VOLUNTEER.

(ed. note: I generally write with a sarcastic and snarky tone, but for this post, I decided to get out the good word. I sent this in an email to almost everyone in my address book. Get off your ass, get out of the bar, and GO HELP SOMEONE!) Its easy to "resolve" to lose weight, get a better job, be more punctual, etc. Why not help someone who needs it? I've decided that 2012 is going to be the year that I really (try) to make a difference around this place! I've listed a few links to organizations I have contacted regarding volunteer...

Miller : Wonder Dog

You will NEVER believe what just happened. I'm still rather amazed.  Someone get this dog a movie deal. This morning, I woke up and took Miller on our daily morning walk around the neighborhood, as per usual.  I've been cleaning and doing Christmas clean-up around the house, so I wasn't paying too much attention to Miller consuming 2394847235 gallons of water. I noticed he had been pacing a little, but attributed it to the fact that I told him we were going to the park to hang with his chocolate lab beard, Lucy. (remember.....

McAnopoly

In typical Mac family fashion, we experienced a power outage over the Christmas break at my grandmother's house in Arkadelphia, Arkansas. (yes, there is a town called Arkadelphia and, yes, people actually live there.) Usually, our holidays are plagued by a devastating ice storm or two, flooding, septic system backup, or some other natural disaster. This year, however, lightning decided to strike a tree and knock out three power lines. My grandmother immediately went on the hunt for candles, lamps, and flashlights. The rest of us immediately started...

Rant of the Day

I sell drugs for a living (legal ones, police officer readers.) I spend a LOT of time in hospital parking lots. This particular hospital in Plano has very few parking spots available unless you want to take a 2 mile hike to reach your destination. I'm refuse to walk even 0.2 miles in 4 inch heels if I can avoid it. I digress. Because I live in north Texas, weather can be, shall we say, kind of a bitch. Today, we had what I will refer to as the Great Monsoon of 2011. It was kind of warm when I walked in to have lunch. When I left an hour later,...

Girl Trends that Need to STOP

PREFACE : I do some of these things, too. That doesn't make them ANY less annoying. This makes me sad.  Speaking in "abbreves" - Obvs I do this. I should probs stop, esp since my friend Will told me that I was "better than that" when using 'totes' in a sentence. I AM better than that, natch. Adorbs! Brillz! Ugh. I think I'm going to vom.  "OMG!! This is totes MY song!"- Its a two-fer! Ladies, as hard as it is to believe, this song is probably NOT your song. Have you met the singer/songwriter? Have you had a heartbreaking relationship...

The Pros and Cons of Pinterest-ing

You guys. I am seriously Martha Stewart. Except twenty-plus years younger, with better hair, and significantly less green in my bank account.  Coming soon to a kitchen near you - Dallas, 2011.Other than that, I'm basically her. I cook, I bake, and now, thanks to Pinterest, I make crafty shit out of random things I find at Hobby Lobby and/or Michael's.  If you were born a female (or decided to swing that way later in life?) you know of the genius that is Pinterest - a virtual pinboard to get ideas for home decor, personal...

The highlight of my day (so far)

Yesterday, I risked my life by venturing to the most ghetto Target in the entire country (CityPlace) to make two very specific purchases: Dunkin' Donuts Pumpkin Spice coffee for my Keurig and Target brand PEPPERMINT whipped cream in a can (DELISH). Together, this combination makes me the most impressive at-home barista this side of the Mississippi. All of this being said, the obvious question is: how am I still single? If this were a football Saturday/Sunday, I would add a nice little pour of Rumplemintz to get the party started, however, I must...

Daily Rant

Let me preface by saying I'm SO GLAD the blog is back. Forgive me in advance - I've been typing in shouty caps lately and I'm not sure why. Perhaps the holidays make me extra aggressive? Oh well. Get over it. I get excited about ridiculousness and maybe you should too. And here we go... I can NOT escape Maroon 5 or David Guetta these days and it irritates the crap out of me. Are these two artists the only ones singing anything these days? It's like Maroon 5 is "featured" in every song ever. Adam Levine - we get it. You're hot in a bad boy sort...